How to Stop Shouting at Your Children

Any parent who shouts regularly at their children is likely to recognise that over time children start to become immune to being shouted at. They get used to it and know that it is going to "blow over" soon enough. In time there is a good chance that you will find all shouting at your children achieves is to make everyone unhappy, including you. If anything if you shout regularly at a child the most probable end result is increased frustration for you and your child carrying on doing whatever they are doing.

Does Your Child Shout Back at You?

Getting a child to do what you want them to do is not all that different to getting an adult to do what you want them to do. The only time anyone does anything is because they want to do it. That is true whether you are dealing with an adult or a child. Sure a child may do something to stop you shouting, but in the long term you may well find all that happens is that your child starts shouting back at you. This may already be happening in your home.

A further downside is that your child will learn that when you want something the way to get it is by shouting. There is a good chance that if you shout at your children that you will have been shouted out as a child. So it stands to reason that if you have copied your parents your children will copy you.

It might help to keep in mind the simple equation "increased pressure = increased resistance". If you can keep the decibel level down, you keep the pressure level down and there is a good chance resistance will decrease too.

Shouting is Just a Habit

Shouting is a habit and if it is a habit you picked up at a very young age then it is not going to be easy to break it. If this is the case it will be deeply ingrained. Like any other habit you can change it, but accept it may take time and you may slip back into shouting before you completely overcome the habit. The key is to keep chipping away at it over time.

How do You Persuade Without Shouting?

So how do you persuade children to do something without shouting at them? Children are not all that different to adults. If there is something you want a friend to do the first thing you usually do is stop and think. You then start to come up with ideas as to how you might persuade them to do what you want them to do. This may either happen consciously or sub consciously. Once you have an idea or two ready to try it is at that point you will start talking to them.

If you are trying to convince an adult friend to do something you would like them to do, would you shout at them? Hopefully your answer is no. So whatever techniques you use on friends and family try using on your children. If you do shout at your friends and family then your problem goes a bit deeper than shouting at your children.

Selling What You Want to Happen

Another way of looking at the problem is that convincing your children to do what you want them to do is not that different to selling something. If you sell something you want someone to buy something from you. Your job is to make your potential customer want to buy. You wouldn't get far by shouting. You would be more likely to get what you want by explaining all the benefits to them of the product or service you are trying to sell.

Sure it's not easy to "sell" to your children the idea of tidying away all their toys or for older children telling you where they are going at night, but it can be done.

Making Up Games

Here are a couple of ideas you can try if you have younger children and tidying their toys is an issue. To start with you can make tidying up into a game. You could also consider a reward for getting all toys in an area tidied away if they can beat a time limit. If you keep a record of times achieved you can see if your children can beat their previous record time.

In addition you can also reason with children from a fairly early age. This gives you the chance to explain to children that because it is so difficult to get them to tidy up toys will have to stay in the cupboard for a while.

Picking Your Battles

Children have their own minds and they are not always going to do what you want them to do. There is an old saying about picking your battles carefully. Even if you find it difficult to stop shouting at your children, if you are able to let more go you may at least find you are shouting at them less often.

It can be tough to change if shouting is an ingrained habit, but habits can be broken if you have the patience and willpower.

Your Views

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Posts: 35

new york

Shouting at Children

Being a parent isn't easy at all. Parents do their best to fulfill every basic need of their children, but sometimes this is not possible. It is very important to buy everything that a child needs to grow well: clothing items, like punk baby clothes at, toys, food, diapers and so on, but, at the same time, he should receive a lot of attention and love and emotional support.

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Posted: 07/Feb/15 at 20:10:15

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