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Postnatal Depression and Anxiety

Although a topic not discussed that much at the local toddler group, recent research suggests 1 in 3 mothers suffer from PND (Postnatal depression and anxiety). Fathers can also suffer from the condition. There are many factors that can increase your chances of suffering with the illness, these can include -

  • If you are someone who is used to having lots of control in your life
  • If you have problems conceiving
  • If you have previously suffered with depression
  • If you experienced a traumatic birth of your baby
  • If you are experiencing additional stresses in your life such as moving house, or having a premature baby.

I personally had experienced anxiety before in my life but when my first child came along I couldn't believe how difficult it was to do anything for myself. I like my life to be organised but I couldn't plan anything, my baby was in complete control and I felt lost. Also, the fact that I was suddenly responsible for another human being was quite terrifying at times especially in the early days.

PND is caused by hormonal changes and chemical imbalances in the brain and psychological and environmental factors. It is important to remember that it is an illness and not a failure of being able to cope. Acknowledging to yourself that you have the illness can be one of the hardest things. I was frightened of being diagnosed with PND as I thought I would be labeled for life as someone unable to cope. Also, I just thought that acknowledging you have depression or anxiety is just a way of admitting you can't cope with life and that I was failing as a mother. Unfortunately, the illness makes you have these feelings of worthlessness and so it is hard to accept you need help. Perhaps this is why so many mothers suffer in silence.

Most women experience the 'baby blues' a few days after giving birth, however, some go on to have PND, which can either start straight away, a few months later, or even a year or so later. There are no set rules as to when or what symptoms you may experience. Most women know that they just don't feel 'right'. Some of the symptoms can be any combination of the following (not forgetting that some of these symptoms can be experienced by any new parent): tiredness, irritability, anxiety and panicky feelings, problems sleeping, crying lots, thoughts of self harm, disconnection with baby/life, general feeling of unhappiness, fear of harming baby or something dreadful happening, feeling of worthlessness and guilt of feeling like a bad mother, a feeling of isolation and loneliness, hallucinations, restlessness, problems concentrating, loss or increase of appetite.

One of the symptoms I experienced was the feeling that I was living someone elses life. I was going through the motions of daily life but not really connected with it. Hence, also not really able to enjoy life. This followed on to the relationship I had with my baby, at times I felt disconnected from him and I wasn't sure some days if I actually loved him. However, admitting those feelings to myself would reduce me to tears. It was made especially hard as my husband was taking a long paternity break with me and my baby went through a short period where he was very attached to him and cried when he left the room. This just reinforced in me the feeling of rejection and disconnection with my baby.

Once you are able to admit to yourself you have the illness, and you start talking to your health visitor, doctor, family and friends, you will start your recovery. Don't just ride it out on your own, some people may get better eventually but the illness will be prolonged, and why should you cope on your own? It is an illness not a failing as a mother. Talking about the illness will help your recovery. Some people are afraid of talking to anyone in the medical profession about their symptoms as they worry what might happen. If you feel this way bear in mind that doctors and health visitors are not there to judge you and they want to help keep your family together not split you apart. Use the support group contact details at the bottom of this article, they will be able to give you further advice.

Your doctor may prescribe you some anti-depressant drugs. I took anti-depressants and they were fine. I also carried on breast feeding while I was on them. My doctor prescribed a well established drug that had a good safety record.

You need to talk to your doctor or health visitor about the other kinds of treatment that may be suitable for you, they include 'talking treatments' like cognitive behaviour therapy. This was never offered to me but I think it would have been beneficial.

There are obviously some practical things you can do yourself. Firstly, you have to let family and friends help you. Let them know about your illness so that they can take care of your baby for short periods of time or they can help you around the home. Try planning into your day some exercise, some cat-naps and some quiet time to yourself. Don't let yourself feel guilty. You need to convalesce.

The road to recovery is quick for some people, but not all, so don't expect to recover over night. You will get better though. I didn't suffer with PND after my second child which was a relief, but I firmly believe that having experienced PND before can make you more susceptible to down days and the thought of being ill again fills me with fear and I am very wary of it. However, it is normal to sometimes have down days as an exhausted new parent so the boundaries can sometimes be a bit blurred, but overall you know if it is a real problem. It is worth noting at this point that even though I didn't have PND with my second child, my husband suffered stress and depression while I was pregnant as we were concerned about going through PND again and the possibility of experiencing a second traumatic birth.

I had a slow, gradual recovery. Going back to work part-time helped me regain some of my 'me time' and assisted my recovery, but that will not be the case for everyone. You are often asked if you are feeling back to your old self, but if you have just had a child, you change anyway as a person, suddenly you are no longer just able to look after yourself, you have a huge responsibility caring for another human being. I'm not sure we can always expect to go back to exactly the same person we were. The important thing is that you start to enjoy life again.


Support and information

Association for Post-Natal Illness 145 Dawes Road, Fulham, London, UK, SW6 7EB Tel: 020 7386 0868 www.apni.org
Aims to help women who suffer from postnatal depression.

PNi-SHA - PostNatal illness-Support & Help Association PO Box 7066, Ashbourne, Derbyshire, DE6 1JQ www.pnisha.org.uk
A charitable organisation which is dedicated to offering information, emotional support and practical help to women and their families, affected by any type of antenatal and postnatal illness.

MAMA (Meet-A-Mum-Association) Helpline: 0845 120 3746 (7pm - 10pm weekdays Only) www.mama.co.uk
Services includes advice and support for mothers with postnatal depression.

CRY-SIS, BM-CRY-SIS, London WC1N 3XX. Helpline: 08451 228669; www,cry-sis.org.uk/index.html Provides self-help and support for families with excessively crying and sleepless babies.

National Childbirth Trust, Alexandra House, Oldham Terrace, Acton, London W3 6NH. Enquiry line: 0870 444 8707; Breastfeeding line: 0870 444 8708; www.nct.org.uk
Advice, support and counselling on all aspects of childbirth and early parenthood.

Samaritans. Tel: 08457 909090 (UK) or 1850 609090 (Eire) www.samaritans.org
Provides confidential emotional support to any person who is suicidal or despairing.


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NOTE:
The health section of Parenting.co.uk is not to be used as a substitute for your GP; if your child is ill then seek the advice of a qualified doctor or other health professional without delay.

 

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