Starting School Problems

Not all children enjoy school from the very first day. Starting school for the first time is one of the biggest changes in their life, especially if they have not spent a lot of time at a nursery or pre school.

If you are concerned that your child is having teething troubles then listen carefully to what they say is happening at school in their own eyes. Try not to simply dismiss any problems they raise. It is true that they may well just go away after a week or two of settling in, but it is important that you give a child as much reassurance as they need at this stage in their development.

There are a number of issues that may arise during the early stages of a child's school life.

A child may not want to go to school

There are a few reasons why a child may not want to go to school. These include:

They would simply prefer to be at home with you in an environment that they are happy and comfortable with.

Reassure them that they will still see a lot of you. Children still spend most of their life outside the classroom. Try to schedule something they like for the weekend. This gives them something to look forward to.

School has not met their expectations. For example a child might have expected they would learn to read entire books on their very first day!

It's time to manage their expectations. Explain to them that learning takes time, but they will get there in the end.

They have a problem with another child.

Work on strategies where they can steer clear of children they do not like. If they have other friends in the class encourage them to spend time with them and stay close. Teachers soon identify problem children, so if other children are causing problems this is often soon brought under control. If you think a teacher is not aware of a problem child then discuss your concerns with them as soon as possible. Early school experiences can stay with a child for a long time so it is important to try to rectify problems of this nature early.

A child may not want to enter the classroom

Some children are fine going to school until they get to the school door.

Try not to fuss over them. Assure them you will be there to collect them as soon as school finishes and then hand them over to the teacher. They will have dealt with numerous children with the same problem before and are experienced at settling children into class. If a teacher has any concerns or suggestions they will soon tell you.

A child may struggle to make friends

This can be the case if they do not know any of the children they go to school with. Perhaps they did not go to a local nursery or pre school.

Ask your child if there is one or two children that they would like to get to know. Invite these children over to play and have tea with your child.

A child may appear withdrawn and quiet

There are many reasons why this may happen.

Talk to your child about what is happening at school and also check to see if they are feeling tired. If you can identify a specific problem then you can work with it. Otherwise allow your child time to relax. It may be that they are feeling a little overwhelmed by the experience. Spend time with them and give them plenty of reassurance.

A child may behave badly at home

The reasons for this may be the same for a child who is withdrawn and quiet. It may just be a case that your child is showing they have a problem in a more attention grabbing way. It could also be that they have seen other children in their class behaving badly.

Take a look at the suggestions for quiet and withdrawn children. If you think this problem is being caused by your child mimicking other children in their class then you will need to explain to them that it is unacceptable behaviour.

A child may be very tired

This is a common problem caused by the extra concentration, excitement and any extra strain your child feels.

Allow them to get plenty of rest as well as quiet undemanding activities. You may also have to adjust their bedtime and lay off any more strenuous activities or trips at weekends until they have settled into their new routine.

General tips

Try to create a routine at home. This will help your child to know what is going to happen and helps them adjust to their new life.

Talk and listen to your children a lot. Not only will this help you to keep in touch with what is happening, by showing an interest it will help maintain your child's excitement about going to school.

Invite new friends over to play. This helps your child to form stronger bonds and also helps you to get to know other parents.

If you have any concerns, discuss them with the class teacher early. Although they will contact you if they have any concerns they will also be more than happy to put your mind at rest over any issues you may have.

Your Views

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Posts: 1


Starting School Problems

These are some really good tips and useful information for getting kids who have difficulties going to school. I think that a lot of children want to stay home because they feel a certain comfort to be near their parents and the home. A good idea would be trying to talk to them about these issues.


complain about this post

Posted: 29/Mar/11 at 5:34:23

Posted by:

Posts: 3



I dont have any advice as such but i am going through the same, my 4 year old DD (ASD) has just started reception and is stuuggling with all the same things. She is being very defiant and struggling with all the changes in routine, her behaviour at home has also gone downhill.

complain about this post

Posted: 14/Apr/11 at 8:32:43

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