Bullying
As parents we have two concerns about bullying:
1) Is our child being bullied?
2) Is our child bullying other children?
If the answer to either of these questions is yes then we need to take immediate action.
Do not ignore bullying - it will not go away and may get worse!
Firstly we will tackle the issue of our child being bullied -
Bullying at school is a very common problem. Bullying does not just take the form of physical violence. Emotional bullying takes place in the form of name-calling, teasing and ignoring. Both forms of bullying can be equally terrifying for the victim often leading to depression, low self-esteem and poor academic performance. In extreme cases of bullying children have been driven to suicide.
If you suspect your child is being bullied then you should tackle the issue with them directly, ask them what is happening and try to offer advice based on your own experiences (I think we have all been bullied at some time in our lives). Inform the school of the problem, every school will have a policy for dealing with bullies. If the school are unaware bullying is taking place then they won't be able to stop it. Your child may be one of many who is being bullied but is the only one brave enough to speak out - your positive actions may prevent the bullying of other children in the school.
If your child is being physically bullied advice them to stay away from the bullies and stay in a group where they feel safe. Tell your child not to retaliate and to try to act with confidence even if they don't feel it.
If your child is being emotionally bullied teach them to ignore name-calling and teasing and explain if they stop reacting to the taunts the bullies will soon get bored.
From my personal experience bullying took place outside of the school on my route home. I walked 2 miles home each day to avoid a bully who was on my shorter (1 mile) route.
Look out for these signs to see if your child is possibly being bullied -
- Your child is frightened to walk to and from school or uses a different route
- Continually losing pocket money or possessions
- Poor academic achievement
- Feeling ill in the mornings to avoid school
- Become withdrawn and lacking in confidence
- Unexplained injuries
- Becoming aggressive, maybe towards their siblings
Now we will tackle the issue of our child being a bully -
For a parent this is a very distressing situation, try to remain calm. Reassure your child that you love them but will not tolerate their behaviour. Inform the head teacher of the school so they can protect the children being bullied (this may seem an odd thing to do but try to think how you would feel if your child was the victim).
Explain to your child why bullying is wrong, try to understand why they feel the need to bully (are they themselves being bullied?).
You can explain that their bullying can affect other children so badly that they don't want to go to school.
If your child refuses to show any remorse and cannot see that what they are doing is wrong then a visit to your GP and possibly a child psychologist may be necessary.
What do you think?
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