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Desperate new(ish) dad



Posted by: Harry Bristol Posts: 1

I'm a dad who is struggling. My 15 month old has always had a very strong mummy preference which I understand is natural and I am happy they have such a tight bond.

I have had rejection from my daughter for a very long time. She is fine with me when we are on our own, but when mummy is around she only wants her. She will either reach for mum when I am holding her for just a few seconds or often have a mini meltdown and cry until mummy takes her. This is really hard for me and I often feel embarrassed when it happens in public or in front of friends and family In these situations she will usually be stuck to mummy by default. I keep reading that I shouldn't show her that this upsets me but I honestly don't think I can help looking completely dejected!

I find myself having to constantly distract her with windows, toys, buttons etc for her to even tolerate being with me when mummy is around which is both tiring and upsetting.

I have worked hard to do my share of night time wake-ups (she is now sleeping through though), nappy changes, baths, naps and bedtimes. I don't work Fridays so we can have daddy-daughter day. I wake early every day to try and have a routine with her -getting her up, nappy, milk and a few stories (when she will have them) but despite this routine, it seems she is just waiting until we can go next door and see mummy. After all this time trying, I find myself wondering if it would have made any difference to her if I wasn't there.

When she is with mummy all day she just wants mummy and though she smiles and giggles when I come home, she won't want me to hold her. Conversely, when mummy comes home from work, she will only want to be with her.

I remember talking to my wife and looking online and being told it was "a phase" that may last a couple of months. I remember at 4 months thinking how long away 6 months felt. Now she is 15 months and things are not really different. I have always been her No. 2 and there was a very very brief per

Complain About This Post Posted: 05/Sep/17 at 20:13:34



Replies

Posted by: Peter Johns London Posts: 1

Hi Harry.
I feel your pain but can only say that being a parent is a marathon, not a sprint.
Be patient, be there for your beautiful little girl and accept whatever she gives you.
If you love her unconditionally I guarantee she will feel this over time and you will have a wonderful relationship.
Good luck!

Complain About This Post Posted: 25/Sep/17 at 6:22:25



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