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The husband rang me up today at work (a rare occurrence unless important information needs to be transferred between us), and asked me what I would like for my birthday - which is rapidly approaching. Well dearly beloved one, I hope you get time to read this, because having had time to think about my answer, here it is…….

A heating and hot water system that can be relied upon,  a sink that doesn’t block up each time you use it, flowers (can never have too many),  a new butter dish (that isn’t either half melted or split),  an Aga (of course), a bedroom wasn’t last decorated in 1976,  a new set of teeth, walking boots that are more comfy than wellies, but still waterproof (you know like the one’s you’ve got), a pony (I’ve wanted one of these since I was 5), eyes that can read in half light (like they used to be able to), secure roof tiles, a cellar that doesn’t flood, a puppy (aaaaah), world peace and an end to poverty and cruelty (sounds good), a good nights sleep, a romantic day (with you of course), a shoulder bag, a week away some where warm where the sun does shine, a magimix food processer, fryer, or juicer, (take your pick), and to be able to put my feet up for more than 5 minutes in one session without being asked to get something.

One or more would be perfectly acceptable.

Aah the boys have just found the mornings post by the front door (yes, yes I know its 4.30pm…..we’ve been a bit busy), and luckily for the husband it includes the latest offerings from Mt Johnnie Boden and the Fat Face Crew. That should give him some slightly cheaper options then……  �

I was going to call this ‘More of the Same’, but thought you might not read it if I did. We all had a disturbed nights sleep, and this morning with the wind driving the rain horizontally against the house, it threw its usual wobbly. Wrapped up in the concerns and frustrations about the heating, I had temporarily forgotten about all the other ongoing issues, like the kitchen window leaking and the cellar flooding (I’ve given up caring about the loose ridge tile). Before you ask, its an old coal cellar approximately 8′ by 3′ which in a moment of madness we converted into an office. Several wet winters (and summers) later we know it will flood when the rain comes down (heavily) and so we prepare for this eventuality by keeping all the electrical equipment off the floor. The husband was a long time making breakfast and when he came upstairs I found out why. The kitchen window had leaked big-time and the electrics were playing silly b*ggers, however the cellar as yet had not flooded. I knew it would, it was only a matter of time. Its hard enough getting through the days at this time of year without all this to sort out. I have to say its getting us down a bit. I really want to be making the most of my two little boys whilst they are at this lovely stage of not being too much trouble, not having too many tantrums, and saying funny things like they do. Which reminds me that younger infant made me laugh yesterday because he was telling the husband that he had lit the woodburner “all wrong”, “you’re not supposed to do it like that - don’t put the logs in first - you’re supposed to light the paper first”. So my comments have not fallen on deaf ears after all, its just the wrong person has been listening. Still it has its uses, he can do my nagging from now on. But even with these lighter moments it is hard to stay positive. The rain lashed down all day, and when we (boys and I) got home (from work and school), I looked down into the cellar (with the torch as the electrics kept tripping), oh yes, indoor swimming pool. 30 minutes later I had worked out what was tripping the electrics and feeling pretty damned pleased with myself, especially as cooking dinner by candlelight was imminent. And the gas man rang to say they can start work on the pipework next week, so hopefully things are moving in the right direction……..and the rain has stopped….well…..temporarily. Hey ho.

More like busy going round in circles. Today (Saturday) my only achievement was to clean the kitchen windows, after all the steam and smoke of family cooking over the holidays, we could hardly see out. In truth I only did it so that I could see the birds eating the food I put out for them. I suppose it makes me feel like I am not totally cut-off from nature - being able to watch them as I wash up. I say that was my only achievement, but I did do other things. I took 1 dog to the vets to have his monthly injection, although he came out having had a different injection for a different problem and some steroid cream to be applied twice daily, along with putting on a muzzle, so he doesn’t lick it off. Great, our list of daily chores is getting longer. Then later as the husband and I are sitting in the garden (brief break in the rain) mulling things over, over a cup of tea, I notice the other dog is hopping lame. He can hardly put any weight down on one particular paw. Investigation was required. He was perfectly alright 10 minutes ago, charging around the garden, what could have gone wrong? Only he knows, well he’s not very bright, so he probably doesn’t, but lifting up his paw I can see he’s opened up an old injury on a pad and its very sore. Of course the vets has just shut (pets always need attention on weekends and bank holidays) so I decided to bathe it and see how he gets on. Then we (myself and oldest son) walked into town to get a few bits and bobs, including some holiday brochures, which I intend leaving around the house in the hope we might make it somewhere sunny this year. Then I have to do my pony chores, riding doesn’t even come into the equation (there’s not enough time), the pony (I share) has lost a shoe anyway (they need a balanced set - either both front or all 4) and I’m starting to miss my riding fix. I did take both dogs for a short walk too, keeping very lame dog on lead. When I get back its virtually dark and the day is gone. The husband and the boys have been moving logs into the shed. Youngest son was particularly pleased with this task as he got to use his brand  new very bright yellow wheelbarrow (that was a Christmas present from little grandma). And now its dinner time and another January weekend day has disappeared into the mire.

Absolutely the last word on Christmas I promise, but as we normally receive several of these folded up inside Christmas cards, I thought I would do one in return, from us.  You know what I mean - its not a fat red bird whose been visiting your bird table once too often, its a summary of the year gone by, mentioning all the stunning things that have happened to you and your loved ones.  Well where do I start….hmmm… the boiler might be a good place…..no maybe not….. oh well…….perhaps I’ll work upwards and finish on a high. Back to the boiler then - all was fine until June, then it went on the blink many, many times and finally gave up completely in December. We are currently still waiting for the whole system to be re-piped. We didn’t move house (although the husband is desperate to - as he feels this would be less stressful than having every floorboard in the house up). We didn’t get new cars - we are still driving around in the same old ones that we bought years ago. We didn’t make it away anywhere holiday-wise (carbon footprint beginning to look exceptionally good), but we did manage to visit the family a few times, and have a weekend in Warwick - however the hotel double booked us (which spoilt it rather). What else, I went back to work, fantastic, the husband never stopped, no comment, and youngest son started school, phew. The boys didn’t outperform their peers, they are I suppose  just normal. We lost 2 cats (PTS-put to-sleep) but they were 18 so I suppose thats not bad,  and I have adopted lots of garden birds instead. We grew, harvested and ate (though not all at once) - rhubarb, gooseberries, redcurrants, raspberries, peas, sweetcorn (a disaster), potatoes (ditto), tomatoes, blueberries, broad beans, loganberries, and apples. Not bad eh. And we had a white goods fest, thanks to our only holiday of the year, thats the mortgage payment one, so we’ve got a new dishwasher, washing machine, tumble dryer and fridge/freezer (carbon footprint not looking so good).  And we are all still here (except for our aged cats), so I shall count my blessings for that.

Its been hard for me to bring myself to write this, as alluded to in the previous entry, but basically we’ve had better Christmasses. On the day the children broke up from school I didn’t feel too good, and then subsequently spent 3 days (on and off) in bed with a horrible horrible cold.  The sort you get once in a decade. Unfortunately, and with typical bad timing the boiler decided to go on strike as well, and that was that, no heating for the whole of the holidays. In fact as I write this now we still do not have any heating other than that provided by our trusty woodburner and one small electric heater. Its cold. It was cold over Christmas.  The gas man came on Christmas Eve and promptly refused to fix the boiler until we’ve had all our pipework re-done. Crikey thats not what I’d asked Santa for.  On the plus side I don’t think the children had a bad one, after all Father Christmas did deliver (a real train set for younger infant and scareyletrix -thats what he calls it - for older infant), even though as the bright spark amongst us (though youngest in years) pointed out, that with both wood burners at full throttle, coming down the chimney was going to be a little difficult for the man in the red suit. Hmmm……not sure how long our little secret is going to keep with him around.  Then just as I was on the road to recovery (it would have been quicker had I not had to shift a load of logs and a fridge freezer whilst running a raging temperature) the husband, who had been holding the fort, finally succumbed and dragged himself up to bed. Unfortunately this also coincided with the arrival of post Christmas visitors. Thank goodness for internet deliveries (set up in October!) a veg box, and the milkman - I hadn’t actually been out to the shops since the 15th December. Several days later our visitors left, the husband felt well enough to get out of bed, and I was probably the only person in the country looking forward to going back to work. As a friend and work colleague pointed out, its a good thing Christmas only comes once a year.  �

Well I seem to have got rather behind, reasons for which will become apparent in my next entry, but in the meantime forgive me for backtracking somewhat. Well the end of term all went rather smoothly, the nativity for which younger infant was a little star, in costume as well as perfomance, was entertaining. Almost as entertaining was the drama behind buying all the bits and pieces required for the star outfit. It was only a piece of silver tinsel, long white socks (stockings were given the thumbs down straight away), and a long white t-shirt. What could be difficult about that? Well everything except the tinsel proved to be difficult. I picked up the silver sparkly thing easily in our local town, but having exhausted every shop in local town, in pursuit of the t-shirt and socks, I had to ask the husband to go on an after work sortie to the big supermarket opposite his place of work. This also proved a fruitless trip, so after a hasty phone call home, I suggested the new shopping centre on his way home. Not his favourite place to be after work, but I was getting desperate by now. I should point out that within a radius of 8 miles I only have a garden centre, a couple of organic farms, several pubs and a vets to buy things in. I heard no more, until the husband arrived home, and on asking the question - had he managed to get the bits and pieces, the reply was unexpectedly……no. Oh, had he managed to buy anything else then? No reply. It did not go unnoticed (by me) or unmentioned (by me) that over the next few days various new items of clothing appeared (for him). I could hardly blame him though - for the last 7 years we’ve both gone out shopping - desperately needing something for ourselves - only to come out of each expedition with nothing but a childs book and a wooden train. Luckily a fellow mum came to the rescue, she had had to buy twin packs of t-shirt and socks anyway, so gave me the spare of each. Before I had imparted this information to the husband he made one last attempt to buy necessary clothing by leaving early one morning, so that night we had 2 outfits. Oh well, better to have 2 than none I suppose. Anyway back to the performance, younger infant sang his heart out, standing bravely in the front row, he did manage to trip over on the dancing bit, but was up before anyone but his parents noticed (I think), and although his t-shirt rucked up rather (showing his underwear most of the time), we were very proud. Older infant was there too, in the choir behind, doing a very good impression of Baldrick (and his triangle) in Blackadder IV, and for him already this was his last nativity. I’m glad it isn’t our last, but doesn’t time go fast for our little stars?�

There’s more than a little excitement in the air at our house. We’ve already seen the Christmas lights being turned on in our local town. Due to either foot and mouth restrictions or the blue tongue outbreak, reindeer weren’t allowed to pull Santas sleigh this year, but luckily for all of us, and especially boys under 7, Thomas The Tank Engine stepped in at the last moment, and the evening was saved. The expression on younger infants face as Santa arrived was….as the advert says….priceless. And we’ve actually been to the panto……..oh no you haven’t…….oh yes we have. It was fantastic, the boys were so excited. A fortunate choice (not of ours but by local theatre company) for us as well, it just happened to be Robin Hood and what great timing for our boys, what with the tv series currently on being their favourite. The sets were gorgeous, Robin Hood was well executed (not his head you understand) in a Swiss Tony kind of way, the dame was funny, and not a tv star in sight….well slap my thigh…..hoooraaah. Mind you, things did not look too hopeful when the night before, having complained of a stomach ache for 2 hours, younger infant threw up everywhere. My greatest fears came to light, typical, I had booked the tickets 6 weeks ago, and I now envisaged 50 quid down the drain along with us all being struck down with yet another stomach bug. But it was not the case, he made a quick recovery (as they do) and we worked out that peppers in the school lunch had probably brought on the episode - they did the same to me when I was younger. And so it was quite hard for everyone to go to work and school today because we all felt like Christmas had already started.�

 Well it went just like this…..as you know the washing machine and the heating weren’t working on the Saturday, older infant had a temperature and a runny nose too, mind you he was the only hot thing in the house that day. On Sunday he bounced back (as they do) and we had a lovely family walk with the dogs….well we and the dogs walked and the children biked. Also it was a much warmer day, so the house didn’t get too cold (thank-you for that). On Monday morning with the boys dressed for school and me thinking I’ve got away with it (lots of other children have been off ill for a week at a time, with bad colds, chicken pox, sickness bugs - the usual winter complaints), when I feel younger infants forehead (he’s been unusually quiet) and its warm, very warm.  So thats that then, a day off. I decide to give older infant the benefit of the doubt and an extra day off to help him recover and the 3 of us have an unexpected day together. Younger infant tries to stay in bed but its not easy when you’re 4, older infant and I do some maths together, perhaps I’ll give home schooling a go. By 3pm when I’m tearing my hair out (we’re not still doing maths) but both boys are full of energy, fully recovered and raring to go, I decide to give the school another chance. The husband comes in from work, and straight away has the washing machine upside down, looking at the motor. Earlier I’d managed to get a hot wash through, unfortunately with no washing in, but it did at least spin properly. Excited by this I have another go with the wet rather smelly washing left over from Saturday, but its not having it, and it comes out wet again. So we give up and concentrate on the chores, dinner etc. Tuesday comes and I have to be strict with myself, the boys are fine and I’m sending them in, and the husband is working from home as the gas man is due. The fixings are replaced and the heatings back on…..hoorah. I think Wednesday was fairly uneventful, but on Thursday a friend rings up and says he’s free to fix the shelves in the pantry. The pantry I hear you say…how posh is that…..? Well it could be, but at the moment its covered in mould, unmentionable things that were dropped on the floor eons ago, shelves which are at worrying angles, a freezer that you can’t get anything in….and even worse all the bits and pieces we’ve collected over the years (and don’t know what to do with). Only really close friends and family are allowed a peak in. We’ve got to have it all out, by……tomorrow. Oh my god, headless chicken mode. The boys help (a bit), hoping to find forgotten packets of chocolate buttons or biscuits, which they do, but they are not allowed to eat them (they are so old the sell by date has actually faded away), and I have to bribe them with something else, of course. And now its Friday, thank god for Friday, and that was the week that was this week….not a lot different from any other.

I should have known when I got out of bed and the elastic in my pyjamas went (they are only 2 months old) that it was not going to be a good day. I was just congratulating myself on how we were managing to keep on top of things - always food in the house, no huge piles of washing waiting to be done etc. When an hour later the husband was down in the utility room cleaning the boiler filter…..when a valve (in the closed position) sheared off in his hand and that was that - no water could reach the boiler and so that meant there was no heating and no hot water yet again. He was cross with himself, and I tried not to be, after all he was trying to be useful and the gas man had been called (and it would be fixed wouldn’t it?). And in case it wasn’t, the woodburners were both lit (it was minus 2 degrees outside), so we were still under control. As usual (being a Saturday) the washing machine was loaded up and churning away and as usual it was playing up. At midday the gas man turned up (he asked us what it was this time - we’ve been seeing a lot of him lately) and promptly told us he couldn’t get the part until Tuesday. We tried not to cry. We tried to be polite, it wasn’t the gas man’s fault, it wasn’t our fault, its just one of those things. At the same time the washing machine finally decided to come out of its cycle and as I opened the door I knew instantly things were not quite right. Soaking wet and not very clean clothes. So lets see thats no heating, no hot water, a freezing cold day and a whole load of very wet and dirty washing, and no way of getting it clean. Fantastic. The rest of the day was spent trying to cajole the washing machine into a spin, but it was having none of it, and we finally gave up at tea time. Before that I had sneaked into town and secretly bought an electric heater (I knew the husband wouldn’t approve) but I was determined not to be freezing in the toilet for the 10th year in a row. This needed some help before it worked too, but once up and running it was a huge surprise…really throwing out the heat and we felt we could now make it to Tuesday, but it would be nice to have just one week when everything worked….or is that just asking too much?